Desperado?

Kono mama ja, dame dayo...


Cannot being just like this...




Anyway,
I think I am lost again,
I do not know what shall I do or not to do,


It is not a serious matter to some people but it is, for me..


Is it alright just being like this?


Is it alright?


I just want to study and take Japanese Course,
Or maybe also take English Course as well,
But mostly I want a Japanese Language Certificate,
I can be a Malaysian Chinese and teach Japanese Language in some language centres or college or school...


Of course,
I was searching for a place or a school which could offer this kind of course,
But to no avail,


Yes, I do know some universities or colleges or institutes do offer Japanese Language Class,
But it is with ONLY the Japanese Language?
And will they give me a well-recognized Certificate when I finished the Japanese Course.


I want to take the Teikyo's the Preparatory Course to Japan University, (IBT) nearby Mid Valley,


But it is expansive,
RM 15,000 for a year course,
RM 21,000 for a year and half course,


There is Arts and Science stream subjects,
Of course I am into Arts...


If I only Japanese Language,
Could I further my studies in Japan or either Malaysia?


May I should not think too much first,
I should think of present first?


Yes of course,
I searched for an Intensive Japanese Course for 4 months,
In LUJEC, around Salak Selatan, Taman Tasik Permaisuri,
I do not know if it is a well-recognized centre or not...
Cost about RM 3,450 for that Intensive Japanese Course,
Maybe I should take it first?


Then continue into passing my Diploma?
Repeat?
Yes, I think so...


It was hard to find in Malaysia...
Unless I go to Japan,
But problem is,
Where is the money?
Where is the person who can provide me such sum of money?
The answer?
Only me.


How many years should I take to save the money till the amount where I can earn enough to fly to Japan and take the single Japanese Language Course?


It could take 10 years,
And I will be 30 years old,


I am so stupid and childish to hope my parents can support me,


And I am so disappointed with myself and my dad,
How can and in what way to ask them to support me?
And
How can this old man wastes his money just like that?


I am useless because I do not even own a cert despite I am now 20 years old,
In 40 years, I might just be dead.


People say that your age can stop nothing,


Is that true?


Nay...


I do not wish when I reach that age only to further my studies,
I want to do it when I am still young,


Yes I know it sounds pathetic,
Really,
I do not know what will happen in the future so I need to rush things,


I do not own anything, other than a SPM cert.
Which I have take it home from my high school...
I am going to take it now,
Let me bath first...


Aa~
I want to add something...


TO: KAT-TUN, I LOVE YOU KAT-TUN!!! Love you so much, Taguchi-kun!!

TO: KANJANI8, SUGEEE!!

TO: NEWS, SUBARASHII PERFORMANCE & SONG!!!

TO: Nikishido Ryo, You are soooo damn cute! Your solo song is soooo damn good!!

TO: Tanaka Koki, DAMN IT YOUR BOOZU HEAD IS SOOOO DAMN SHOCKING XD

TO: Kame & Jin, Please and for Christ's Sake, just tell us that you both are *tut*... I would love that if you both are *tut* because I don't hate *tut* at all, instead I respect and admire them.

TO: Yuki, for fucking heaven's sake, just please make up your damn mind on what you want to do.....





the end....